Parents: Do you want your three year-old to be a joyless social justice drone by the time he/she/they hits kindergarten? Would you like little Pat to be the puritanical scold of the playground, sucking the fun, life and variety out of every grammar school interaction? Your pals at the Washington Post have a round-up of woke books and programs for toddlers — everything you need to ensure your child will never be burdened with excess popularity.
Really. In the “On Parenting” section, Natalie Jesionka assures readers that “Experts say it’s never too early,” to indoctrinate your flesh and blood, “and a new wave of tools and resources can help start the conversation.”
And what tools! Anti-racism flash cards, intersectionality books, a music class “that develops understanding of gender and personhood.” Wouldn’t you like to tuck in the little one with a soothing reading of “Antiracist Baby” or “Woke Baby?” Best of all, Jesionka says “A drag queen story time will soon be a television show.”
And those “experts” urging you to politicize your infant? Jesionka talks to a woman who sells “a curated box of toys, books and curricula that aims to dismantle bias for kids as young as 2 years old.” (Take that Genderless Potato Head!) She consults others who say “that children develop implicit bias as early as 3 months old, and at 4 years old are categorizing and developing stereotypes.” At five they have a favorite chair and develop the speech patterns of Archie Bunker.
And one of those experts says, “When you think about reading, you don’t say a child at 2 years old can’t read, so let’s not read to them or teach them to recognize letters. We begin building those foundational concepts early.” So why not do the same with race? (Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the American education establishment!)
To that end, you can enroll Baby Finster in an Antiracism academy, or support “LiberatED, a community-generated approach to social-emotional learning, racial justice and healing for schools.” It’s probably peerless at creating resentment and a deep sense of grievance.
Speaking of peerless, you, Pat’s parents, can be sure you won’t have to worry about your eco-conscious tiny house being a favorite among Pat’s cohort.