Elon Musk conducted a Twitter poll to ask whether he should reinstate former President Donald Trump’s account. The poll received 15,085,458 votes — and Twitter issued its final results in just one day! Musk should stop wasting his genius on hobbies like Tesla and SpaceX and become the Maricopa County, Arizona, election supervisor.
About that Twitter poll, what’s the over/under on when two-time unsuccessful Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams accuses the survey of “voter suppression” for failing to require voter ID?
After two years, CBS reports that it has “independently verified” the authenticity of the Hunter Biden laptop. As for why it took two years, the network likely has a perfectly understandable explanation: supply chain issues. Sources say CBS has developed a system to avoid repeating the embarrassment of taking two years to verify Hunter Biden’s laptop. It plans to hire reporters.
BREAKING NEWS … CBS has “independently verified” that Pilgrims have landed at Plymouth Rock.
BREAKING NEWS … CBS has “independently verified” that 9/11 was, in fact, a terror attack.
BREAKING NEWS … MSNBC reports that a New York Times investigative journalist confirms that CBS has “independently verified” that “life disproportionately impacts people of color” — and a Department of Justice whistleblower tells CNN that the Biden administration has drafted a proposal for reparations.
BREAKING FUTURE NEWS … “Despite the liberal media’s attempt to connect ‘hateful, anti-gay, transphobic, right-wing rhetoric’ to the 2022 Colorado gay nightclub mass shooting, CBS has independently verified that the suspect is ‘nonbinary.’” — CBS News, Nov. 24, 2036
The American Bar Association, to achieve diversity, inclusion, and equity, has dropped the Law School Aptitude Test requirement for application to law school. Why not eliminate class attendance, classrooms, books, professors, tests, grades, reading, knowledge, logic, comprehension, brain waves, and the ability to register a pulse?
In solidarity with the American Bar Association, and to achieve “diversity and inclusion,” will the New York Philharmonic no longer require study, practice, rehearsals, talent, ability, dedication, aptitude, work ethic, reading music, or mastery of a musical instrument?
To demonstrate its solidarity with the American Bar Association, will Major League Baseball, the National Football League, and the National Basketball Association no longer require the winning team to achieve a higher score?
Rep. Hakeem Jeffries, D-N.Y., is set to succeed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as ranking Democrat U.S. House member. After Trump’s election in 2016, Jeffries tweeted: “LIE (more than any administration in the history of the Republic.) CHEAT (2016 election/Russian Interference).” In 2018, he tweeted: “The more we learn about the 2016 election, the more ILLEGITIMATE it becomes.” And Jeffries tweeted on his congressional account, “America deserves to know whether we have a FAKE president in the Oval Office.” In 2019, he tweeted that Trump was put into the White House “artificially” after Special Counsel Robert Mueller had concluded Trump had not colluded with Russia and did not obstruct justice. In 2020, Jeffries tweeted: “History will never accept you as a legitimate president.” In March 2021, he wrote: “What kind of political party worships at the altar of voter suppression? A morally bankrupt one.” Doesn’t this make Jeffries an … “election denier”?
Because I oppose the policies of liberals, including those of black liberals, I’ve been called “a self-loathing black man who hates his people.” Barack Obama, when running for Illinois state senator, unseated a black liberal Democrat female incumbent, with whom he had no real ideological differences. In a bid to become a U.S. House congressman, Obama unsuccessfully primaried a black liberal Democrat incumbent, with whom he had no real ideological differences. To become a U.S. senator, Obama beat a black Republican conservative. Obama opposed my attempt to recall the governor of California, even though I would have been that state’s first black governor. Obama opposes the Georgia U.S. senate candidate, Herschel Walker, a black Republican conservative. So, Obama has run against black liberals and campaigned against black conservatives. Does this make Obama a “self-loathing black man who hates his people”? Asking for a friend.
Larry Elder is a best-selling author and nationally syndicated radio talk show host. To find out more about Larry Elder, or become an “Elderado,” visit www.LarryElder.com. Follow Larry on Twitter @larryelder. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.